Sunday, April 18, 2010

I Made It! Hello Gals!

I finally made it on here! Sorry it took it took me so long :)

First off I want to say thank you for allowing me to contribute to this blog and share the journey with you both! The support outside of the blog has been amazing and I feel blessed and lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. Lots of love here :)

So, the snap decision to blog right now at 10:40pm on a Sunday night is because tonight I hit rock bottom with my weight and I had to get it off my mind. I didnt think I could hit rock botom again, but with my bad habits it was bound to happen. I can plan with the best of them and map everything out that I need to do, but the follow through and momentum is the key factor. I used to be very athletic and healthy, people used to always ask me about tips and tricks and how tos of eating right and working out.....I cannot say the same now. I recently gained new stretch marks in various places. I look and feel worn down. Any kind of excercise, even up a hill, makes me breath hard and struggle....and my knee is hurting. I feel the effects of my weight and eating issues physically and mentally.......thats not good... I'm 25yrs old! I'm hiding in sweats and I barely have anything in my closet that fits! No joke! I was down to one pair of black pants that I had to alter by cutting the sides so my love handles had room to breath and it relieved pressure. I was wearing those black pants for the past 6 months (washing them of course!) and I didn't have a pair of jeans that I could fit into for who knows how long. I feared shopping and feared that nothing was out there ofr me to fit into. Now I have a new pair of black pants (along with the old) and a new pair of jeans....all thanks to Shandy and her neverending support and awesome attitude. I fought her tooth and nail when she was trying to help me. I owe her big not only for what she did but for unconditional love and support and great attitude. She's a rare find :) I started the Master Cleanse Detox on Saturday to kick start my body into getting rid of the toxins and sludge inside. Today was day 2 and I went way off track..needless to say I will be starting Day 1 tomorrow (Monday) and being more strict. I know that the MC is not as healthy as other detoxes and I am aware of what to expect. My mom is a nurse and I already heard her side of it :) If I feel like I can't do the whole 14 days then I will stop and ease into my healthy eating plan sooner than expected. I will keep you updated on how I do :)

I am too young to feel this way and to look the way I do.....we all deserve to be our best self whatever that may mean. I cannot change the past and reminisce about the way things were....I often do this and need to stop. I do have control over today and the future hasnt been made yet. My birthday is Sept 4th and I do not want to turn 26 with the way I feel and look.

Sorry about the emotional post and the "Debbi-Downer" attitude....I just needed to get this out. I also had a LONG talk with the man upstairs tonight about everything on my mind....maybe he can magically do something from above :)

I am sure that I blogged way too much info for a first blog contribution..sorry guys!

Thank you again for having me and I will post more soon!

Warm thoughts towards you girls on your journey and together we will get there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Take care,
Kristi

2 comments:

  1. Sometimes you just need to vent, I know I do. This blog is a great place to do that. We're here for you Kristi, because we've all been there. Sweats are my favorite hiding place, especially when I'm playing hide and go seek with a pint of Ben and Jerry's when Im not feeling so good about myself. I find it in the freezer, and I hide it in my stomach.
    I think the hardest part is acting on your feelings and doing something about it when you hit rock bottom. Aim for small changes so that you can create permanent habits, and know that we cant reach our goals overnight. Baby steps are still steps.

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  2. Welcome Kristi! Your post was NOT too much for your first post! That's what this ol' blogaroo (yes, I just gave our blog a pet name...) is for!

    Shandy is a great support system, you're right! Now, if we all had the same schedules and lived nexr door to eachother life losing weight would be easier! Damn! Oh well, we'll be as supportive as possible for each other! :)

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Encouragement? We need it!